Wish
I wish I could tell you,
What you mean to me.
I wish I could tell you,
That you are constantly on my mind.
I wish there was way to tell you,
How I feel about you and,
How much I actually care,
Without ever losing you.
I wish I could pour my heart out,
If it made you stay.
I wish I could tell you,
Everything you make me feel,
But I can’t,
I can only wish.
Lost
Lost in the void,
A place deep within,
Felt something was amiss.
Lost in the void,
The tunnel grew darker and melancholic.
Stuck without any light,
Wanted to stop or be stopped,
It was nothing but false hope.
The void grew bigger as did the darkness,
And with no way out,
The battle was lost.
Sometimes, do you wonder when you open your eyes in the morning that all the bad things happening in your life are just a nightmare? The moment you open your eyes, things will change; they will get better. But life isn’t that simple is it?
This feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach refuses to go away. Your hopes, dreams, expectations have only one enemy and that is reality. Nothing seems to be going your way, you feel lost and defeated. One thought swirling in your mind all the time, if this is all life is going to be like for you?
The unanswered question is the biggest reason for your frustration. So many doubts overwhelming your mind all at once and there seems to be no end to the negativity in your head. Where is the thrill, the magic you have always wanted? You can’t seem to find the path to your destiny. Is growing up really this complicated? You wish someone would understand you, give advice and not judge. Be there by your side making sure you don’t fall.
Why does every aspect of life seem harder when you are stuck. As far as you can see there is only a road and you have no idea.
Unsaid
“I’ll forever wonder how it could have been between us
But it’s a question which will never be answered.”
Nanotale
She looked out of the window. It was a kind of day she liked; the gray clouds covering the sky, an unexplained gloominess in the air and the silence. She loved this atmosphere a little too much; it was during these days the darkness was consuming everyone and she wasn’t the only one drowning in it. She smiled to herself; a storm was brewing, perfectly poetic. She knew a thing or two about storms; they matched the chaos in her head.
She didn’t understand it herself; the years of turmoil had left her numb. There was no escaping it, she knew it now. It’s sad really, giving up on life like this being hopeless and uncertain at such a young age. She had given up on her life, family, friends, relationships or any hope for things to be okay. She had seen her fall apart, tears falling down her cheeks, she had been helpless to stop it yet she felt guilty.
A slow tentative step towards the open window, she inhaled deeply and exhaled. With an exasperated sigh, she kept staring outside. Life is unfair everyone used to tell her but being overly optimistic and idealistic she never believed it. She was always just or tried to be so why would anything go wrong; she had no idea what would happen. Those naïve thoughts now locked away tightly in a corner of her heart never to be opened again. A perfect day, she thought again, a gloominess to match hers and a sense of an impending doom.
Today, she was going to be free from it all. The hurt, heartbreak, disappointments, she was going to forget about them. The past wasn’t worth dwelling upon; it was worth letting go even if it meant a part of her going away with it. A sense of hope awakened in her, hope to find happiness and peace. She closed her eyes gathering courage and took brave steps towards her freedom, her choice; this time she was in control no one else.
Someone called out her name but she tuned it out, she had come too far to stop even for a minute. She could almost taste the freedom. “Next time around it will be better.” She thought to herself. “Next time life won’t be unfair.” An abyss of darkness started to surround her, she was scared, she wanted to open her eyes but she didn’t dare. She heard someone scream her name but she didn’t care. She was going to be free; free of all the pain inside her.
Sometimes, do you wonder when you open your eyes in the morning that all the bad things happening in your life are just a nightmare? The moment you open your eyes, things will change; they will get better. But life isn’t that simple is it? This feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach refuses to go away. Your hopes, dreams, expectations have only one enemy and that is the reality. Nothing seems to be going your way, you feel lost and defeated. One thought swirling in your mind all the time if this is all life is going to be like for you? The unanswered question is the biggest reason for your frustration. So many doubts overwhelming your mind all at once and there seems to be no end to the negativity in your head. Where is the thrill, the magic you have always wanted? You can’t seem to find the path to your destiny. Is growing up really this complicated? You wish someone would understand you, give advice and not judge. Be there by your side making sure you don’t fall. Why does every aspect of life seem harder when you are stuck? As far as you can see there is only a road and you have no idea where you’re going. It’s scary, intimidating even; not knowing your destination. You keep hoping it will get better; rise above it and then you will be where you want to be. I don’t know what’s going to happen in my life but one thing I know is that no matter what, I am not going to lose hope, there is always a way; there has to be one.
